my stand!!

bismillahirrahmannirrahim,

this is a post where i contemplated to write for quite a bit. but after giving it much thought, i think this is an important post as it explains my stand. if reading this post makes you think i'm directing it to you. yes it does. because i'm someone who dares to point out the point straightly without having the need to hide behind double meaning. 

funny world we're living in today, where people would attack first before asking. lol, even the basic personal liberty of a person laid out one is innocent until proven guilty. yet, in today society, one is labelled guilty even before going into trial. sad isn't it. well this happens to me quite recently, whereby i was attacked for my personal blog post that talks about my family. i seriously don't get it, so i can no longer share about my "happy" family without offending others? i thought we were suppose to share our happiness instead of promoting hatred. so i have to think five to six times before posting about what i learned from my parents so that i don't offend others? i mean come on, this is my blog. i'm entitled to share my feelings without having to submit to others approval right. excuse me, but this is my freedom to speech, it's a privilege that everyone is entitled to under the federal constitution. 

i'm sorry if you understood my writing differently but i'm only responsible for what i wrote and not for what you understood. if you understood my writing the wrong way, that's entirely your problem. attacking me for my personal liberty, well sorry to say this but that's rude. especially when you were reading it with a different meaning than what i intended it for. fyi, i could so sue you for harrasment. 

unfortunately common sense is no longer common anymore, you know what should be the common thing to do when you read my post, first you should have asked me, why am i writing it and to whom it was intended. and for that post, i think a regular human being would read it as me appreciating my parents presence in my life. but unfortunately you did not do what a common humanbeing would do. second common thing to do, if you don't like what i wrote, then don't read it. there's always that unfollow, unfriend and block button made available for you. if you must know, i'm not a big fan of vulgar words which you've always throw in your status. instead of paying attention to them, i just scroll down and leave it like a gentleman. so why can't you just ignore whatever i wrote if you don't like it. why are you picking fight over small ridiculous thing? 

my parents always taught me to be the bigger man by walking away from a fight which is not worth of my time. after giving my explanation which i totally don't need to, but i do so out of respect and just to clear things up and yet you don't appreciate my explanation and kept on picking fight. i knew that it does not worth any of my time because no matter what i wrote, you'll end up sticking to your side of story which is i'm the one to be blame. so i'm walking away but if you were to ever attack me again, just a reminder, this time i would not walk away. fool me once, joke on you, fool me twice joke on me. and i will not let you do that to me. 

lastly, just a reminder, my life does not revolve around you, nor your life revolve around mine. i have no time to be thinking about your problems as i do have my own problems too. simply because i don't show my struggle doesn't mean i'm not struggling with life. just that i wanted to be a more mature adult that solve my own problem and hide my struggle so that i would not burden people around me. honestly, i couldn't care less about your problem especially after how you screw me over. and please if you ever want to attack me, don't attack me on social media especially with a broken english. you're just making a fool out of yourself. like you said, i'm always right, picking a fight with a law student is not gonna be pretty. ouh, please know that i can be a bitch if i want to and that one door of hell you don't want to open. i might look all nice and kind, but when you see the biatch in me, trust me you'll never see me the same way ever again.

signing out with lots of love,

lalaqla

family?

adalah seorang hamba Allah nie call mengadu nasib tentang masalah keluarganya yang tak pernah aman. salah satu ayatnya, "kau lain la, family kau perfect, tak macam ktorg." pembetulan, family aku tak perfect, percayalah tiada satu pun family dalam dunia nie yang perfect. our family might seems perfect on the outside but the secret is we don't share our problems even with our extended family. we choose to sit down and talk out our problem most of the time. eventhough sometimes the problem is not resolved immediately but we get it solved by hook or by crook. i know it because i'm the problematic one in the family (middle child sindrom katanya) hehe. seriously, i'm one very thick headed girl who wants everything to be in  her way. in fact sometimes when i'm mad, sad, annoyed or frustrated, i would just silent or off my phone so that nobody can reach me. which most of the time causes worries to my parents most of the time. you could ask some of my bestfriends, my brother would go to the extend of contacting them if i'm out of reach. hehe. sorry mama ayah. i'm really glad that with all the tantrums i've throwed over the past 24 years, they're always forgiving and understand my mischieviousness. nasiblah mak bapak aku sanggup nak tahan perangai keras kepala tak nak dengar cakap aku kan. there's one thing that i've learned from my parents parenting style which is trust. my dad said this once to me, "ayah tau awak dah besar, dah boleh fikir baik buruk, so i trust you can make a wise decision for your life." heee. yes, my parents let me decide how i want to live my life. but with that being said, when such trust is put on you, whenever i feel like doing a bad thing, i'll always remember what my dad told me. he had put such trust on me, and i shall not betray that. so yeah, i'm a bit naughty but never over the limit.

another thing i've learned is that never spill your problem to outsider, especially on social media. because honestly, people who hear you out are either sincerely trying to help you, or would use that point to destroy you. so never give them the opportunity to destroy you. talking is good, but only talk to the people that you really trust and you believe would never spread or bad mouth about it to others. if you have a problem with a particular person, for god sake talk to that person. stop abusing the social media by bashing each other. internet is one dangerous world, once you post something it'll forever be there. and you know what's the funny thing, you guys are bashing each other on social media yet you guys are blocking each other. penyudahnya yang jadi penonton drama korg nie, akan bercerita pada org lain dgn versi yang ditokok tambah. maka bertambah lagi la salah faham dan masalah korg. so please people if you have problem, sit down and talk to each other. at least that's how our family do it, walaupun sometimes it takes awhile because sometimes we need a cooling period. yelah hati semua tengah panas, instead of hurting each other with words, better take some time to cool down before talking it out. we can never undo words after it being spoken, there's no delete button when it comes to blurting out words.

i really love the song by fynn jamal titled biar. it just hit me like dush dush dush. especially this part,

wahai ayahanda lihatlah 

aku melompat tinggi 

kerna disetiapnya kau tak pernah pergi

apa masih ingat lagi

aku suka lari lari

kau bagaikan tak peduli

ku biar kau patah hati

apa masih tidak lupa

tengking jerit sama2

makan tak mahu semeja

sahabat lebih berharga

i do have to admit, in fact most of us at our age tends to appreciate our friends presence way more than we appreciate our parents presence. which is a no no la. i know i've broke my parents hearts countless of time with my attitude but i sure am glad that di setiap jatuh dan bangunnya aku mereka sentiasa ada dibelakang utk membetulkan langkah aku. for that i'm very thankful. so i'm proud when people say that we have a perfect family, it may not be the perfect ideal family but they're my perfect imperfection. you dont get to choose who your family are, so make the best out of it. with all the problem we overcome, it makes the bond stronger, so don't sigh at problem, always remember that there's always a silver lining behind it all.

so to the kids, no matter how hurt you are, always remember how hard it was for them to raise you up. without them you'll never be where you are right now. if you're hurt, imagine how they felt. wouldn't they hurt too.

to the parents, please take some time to listen to your kids. dont just take them as a child. we do have our opinions and we want to be heard. 

ruginya la kita menghabiskan masa dengan perasaan benci dan marah pada satu sama lain bilamana ia sepatutnya digunakan utk kebersamaan. asas sesebuah ketamadunan dan masyarakat adalah keluarga, it's what the moral and lesson yang diterapkan dalam keluarga yang kita bawa ke dalam masyarakat. so for a better civilisation, let us strengthen our family bond and moral. 

last but not least, spread love not hatred.

signing out with love,

lalaqla

anti social

it's been awhile since i posted something. probably because there's not much to share anyway. life's getting boring and dull. i'm either to tired to have fun and be adventurous or usually i ended up enjoying something alone that later on i kinda felt sad because i didn't have anyone to share it with. i kinda have a feeling that i'm getting more anti social by days, honestly i don't think i've been making any effort in catching up with my friends. it's not that i don't want to but i guess sometimes i'm a bit afraid of rejection. not as in rejected like "no i dont want to be friend or hang out with you", more to like everyone would usually have things planned when i'm free or sometimes they dont even include me in there plan. woah, i'm not saying this because i'm offended but i totally understand that sometimes when you dont keep in touch with people on a daily or regular basis, people would tend to think that you're busy or you have something to attend to, that's why they didnt included you in their plan. so yeah, a bit of insecurity issue going on there especially when you see those people posting picture or updating their plan. but all is well because i, myself didnt even care to make any effort to be in touch. truth be told, i'm kinda tired of chasing people. i realised that whenever i chase people, i would usually end up being neglected or people dont take me seriously. can you understand why the insecurity kicks in? haha. all my life i've always been the one yg "terhegeh2" in friendship. probably people find that annoying, even i finds it annoying to sometimes, so this year in particular i decided not to be that "terhegeh2" girl anymore. i decided to be more independent which somehow turns me into a more anti soc girl. haha funny aint it. so nowadays whenever i felt like doing something, and feeling like i want some company, i would ask people if thay wanna tag along but if they said no or they're busy and yada yada. instead of cancelling the plan, i always end up doing what i wanted to do alone, be it watching movie or theatre, trying out new places and other activities. i realised that it's more fun and enjoyable to have company but the fun should not stop even if you don't have any company. omg, now i'm sounding like a forever alone girl, which kinda suits me right now. being anti soc is sometimes sad and depressing but i've realised that u cant always seek people to follow my desire especially when everyone now has their own commitment. so what this anti soc have in store for future, probably a solo trip somewhere. hehe. but i kinda have the feeling that it would be hard to get approval from my parents to travel alone especially being a girl and blah blah blah. probably i should try and plan a solo trip somewhere in malaysia before planning a solo trip abroad, probably after a few solo trip in malaysia, my parents would be less reluctant to let me go abroad alone. finger crossed. hehe. 

i used to dream of travelling around the world with my mr. right. but probably there's gonna be few ammendment before i could achieved that. somehow i'm not convinced that i would end up getting married anytime soon nor later. i mean, come on if you were to think about it, i havent finish my degree, and my mama said to finish my study first before getting married. by the time i finished studying, it's gonna be awhile to find the right one. then time flies, and there goes my youth. see, why i'm not convinced bout me getting married. i might end up like the story old lady with 19 cats (is it?) except that instead of cat, because i kinda have a lil fear ( not fear la but geli) with kucing, i might end up with 19 different gaming stuff. hahaha. 

ok this anti soc kinda dh merepek sgt, and it's almost 4am, i better sign out and get some sleep. adiossss

signing out with love,

lalaqla

3.59am 

12:9:2014