being friendzoned?

you know when it's about exam period, i'll always end up thinking about weird weird stuff. for this exam period plak, i ended up thinking bout how i always end up in the friendzone situation.

i've always been the plain girl. daripada sekolah lagi aku selalu jadi the 'hot' girl sidekick. haha. nak buat mcm mana kawan2 aku semua lawa -lawa wei. lagi-lagi aku nie gemuk. memang cerita dia orang tak pandang la aku kan. mungkin sebab tue la aku selalu kena friendzone coz people would be more interested to get to know my friends than me. kadang-kadang aku yang jadi messenger diorg. peh, kalau time tue aku tgh syok kt si A nie pastu kena jadi messenger dia, pedih wei. tapi kan aku kawan yang taat, redha jer la tgk org yang aku suka usha kawan aku kn. hahaha.

dan oleh kerana aku nak clear kn otak aku pasal benda-benda mcm nie, aku pun tanya la a few of my bestfriend (lelaki) psl kenapa aku selalu kena friendzone. aku tanya lelaki psl yelah, we are dealing with guys opinion on me kn. dan sebenarnya kalau kau tanya kawan perempuan kau, they'll tend to be more bias towards you. so mmg kau takkan dapat la jawapan yang kau nak.

this are the responses that i got 3 different guy.

1. he went on and on about how i haven't find the right one. about the love you deserve, basically all the self-discovery journey thingy la. which obvious doesn't really answer my question but what he said was actually true. i don't need to put myself don't for something i don't think deserving. so until then i should just enjoy my life and get to know myself, love myself better before actually trying to love someone else.

2. he said i'm just not his type. cis. macamlah i'm talking bout being friendzoned by him. but what i liked from his answer is that the most easily swayed of the human part is our hearts. sbb tue tuhan surah jaga hati kita baik2, we might be friend today but tomorrow we might fall in love, siapa tahu. wow, terkedu kejap with his answer. i guess he's right. because love is actually a mysterious thing. lagi pun jodoh pertemuan tue semua rahsia Allah. cuma masa jer yang belum pasti kan.

3. yang nie jawapan x habis lagi, pasal x sempat nak abeskn conversation. dia cakap aku nie baik sgt, sampai org selalu take advantage and take me for granted. haha, baik memanglah baik tapi as everyone know aku nie jenis yang pendam mcm volcano, u tick the wrong button, and i'll explode. so beware la ya. hehehe


it's interesting to actually take some time and talk to the opposite side. sebab the way they perceived something is different from how we view it. haha, damn you exam stress, pelik2 jer benda yang aku end up serabut bila exam nie. bukannya stress psl study. aduyai...


signing out with love,

lalaqla

falling for the bestfriend

ok before continue reading this post, sila jgn ada apa2 thought of me falling for anyone at the moment or i'm in a relationship. ok? this is just a post which i got inspired by one of my friend status on facebook. so here goes:

falling for the bestfriend (this only refer to different gender bestie relationship). hurm, ada org ckp lelaki dgn perempuan x blh jd bestfriend sbb someone will definitely ruin the relationship by falling for  the other one. to me falling for the bestfriend is normal, more like a phase in the friendship. cuma bezanya how we deal with that feeling which will decide what the outcome will be. there's few outcome that i've experience la. yes i'm talking from experience, karang org ckp, "ala you wont understand, you've never been there". haha, aku rasa aku manusia yg plg selalu kne friendzone kot. tue yg jd loner skrg kot. hahahaha. so here's some of the situation i've been through ( silalah baca embarassing cerita aku) (remind me again why i'm embarassing myself).

1. so you fall for your bestfriend tp kau tak berani nk bgtau dia psl kau x nk ruin the relationship. kau pun telan perasaan kau sorg2, 2 years later bila korg dh in two different places far from each other, penyudahnya kau come clean psl feeling kau dulu (dulu: means kau dh x de feeling lg yer). tadaaaa: rupa2nya dia pun pernah ada feeling dkt kau, guess what you guys had just missed the 'moment'. sudahnya korg pun sama2 gelak psl dua2 bodoh tak mau confess dulu. since dua2 dh x de feeling for each other, korg pn still end up jd bestie. no hard feeling and hidden feeling since korg dh come clean. al makanya friendship korg makin best. 

2. so you fall for the bestie again tapi kali nie bestie kau tgh in a relationship dgn another friend of yours. since kau x nk ruin the relationship and hilang friendship, kau pun diam2 telan perasaan kau tgk diorg bersweet2. chill, lama2 bila kau tgk diorg kau akn slowly concede feeling kau psl kau akn rasa happy with their relationship mcm pepatah if you love somebody, you'll be happy to see them happy. 

3. ok kali nie kau fall pada bestie yg bru lps broke up, tgh fragile. kau nie pun beria la jd pendengar paling setia dgn harapan yg he could see i'm right here. sgt drama2 tv wei, cuma dlm drama selalu happy ending la. in this case blh gak jd happy ending psl maybe you are the one he's been looking for. tp jgn la berharap sgt psl hidup nie it's not always about happy ending. tp entah2 hujung2 kau end up jd rebounce dia or dia end up cri perempuan lain or end up dia balik dgn ex dia. sudah dia kau makan hati blk. 

4. kau fall for bestie kau psl pe? psl dia gentleman habis even with his friends. sygnya kau mistook that and kau pun fall for him. tp kau tak berani nk confess, you see him get in to a relationship, got out of relationship, listen to his stories masa in relationship, bila dia break up. tp kau telan jer feeling kau psl kau sgt friendship korg, yg kau mcm agk sure kalo ko confess msti korg akn stop talking. al makanya telan la perasaan tue smpi mati wei.

5. kau confess, things get awkward. you guys stop talking to each other. x pe wei in future, korg akn sit down time reunion or gathering, confirm korg akn gelak kn that moment. 

so, to confess or not? sebenarnya ikt kau, kalo ko berani nk take the risk, go ahead. there's always two outcome, the happy one and the other one. it's not wrong to chase your own happiness tp be prepared la with the worse outcome ever psl x semua yg kau plan and kau nak akn dpt kn. at the end of the day, it will either make the friendship stronger or you'll end up with more life experiences. so chill, take a deep breath and decide what you wanna do with your feeling.

p/s: aku pun sebenarnya msih hidup dlm fantasi bestfriend to lover jugak. byk sgt tgk drama aku nie. hahaha.



singning out with love,


lalaqla

kenapa saya nak kurus

kenapa saya nak kurus? jawapan dia saya pun sebenarnya tak tahu. unlike other people who have their big WHY to lose weight, I actually still can't figure out my big WHY. bestie saya nak kurus lepas kena dump dgn boyfriend dia. ada kawan saya nak kurus psl nak cari boyfriend. I actually don't really know why i wanted to lose weight. mmg la tiap2 tahun azam nak kurus kn. tapi hampeh. but if i must say it probably starts early this year. bila my big brother yg mmg tugas dia adalah meng'condemn' adik dia nie bet dgn my cousin yang i won't lose weight this year. cis betul kan. tapi mmg sifat abg saya mcm tue. cara dia tunjuk dia caring nie pelik2 sikit. dia pnya ayat melawak mmg boleh buat mkn dalam wei, tp ktorg pnya family mmg gurau kasar pn. so jiwa mmg kena kental la.

i'm the girl who was always blessed with so much love, dari kecik mmg dibesarkan dgn air tangan umie. lagi2 masa masuk stf dlu, every week request jer nk mkn apa msti umie masakan. so mmg dari kecik seorang laila aqilah tue hobi dia makan, al makanya badan dia pn bertambah2 la gebuss. if you still don't know i'm the first grand daughter pak bakar, yang baya saya ada dua org lagi gadis ( sorg dh jadi mak budak dh) yg ayu2. since i grew up dgn my brother jer, al makanya saya nie sedikit buas dan lasak daripada gadis2 sebaya saya dulu. i had never owned any barbie doll ekh. permainan hari2 ada wrestling, main guli, main basikal. senang cerita masa kecik ikut bontot along jer la petang2. so i don't really care bout my appearance, haah la start ada rasa nak melawa pn masa kolej, tue pn ikt mood, kalo tak wa sarung jeans, t shirt dgn tudung selimpang jer. masyaAllah selekeh betul, tapi sekarang pn mcm tue gak, dtg malas dia seluar tidur tue pun blh jadi bwk keluar. eh mcm dh menyimpang jer cerita nie.

so dah abes throwback, jom balik ke tahun 2014. so probably la one of the reason nk kurus psl the stupid bet that along made. but i don't think that's strong enough. 2013 i tried taking herbalife, tp mmg tak jalan la, pasal apa? i didnt say herbalife didnt work, byk jer org kurus minum herbalife tp i'm not that type of person who follows routine. pagi2 bangun buat shake. mula2 ok la, lama2 mmg x fun la kn. so there goes the effort to lose weight in 2013. tapi around oct 2013 i was diagnosed with a minor tumour, dua kali lak gak kena operate nk buang which effect dia smpi sekrg wa tak blh nk angkat kening belah kanan. kalo amek gmbr nampak kelakar wei. hahaha. so probably from there i started to think, i need to take my health seriously, walaupun tumour tue x de kena mengena dgn me being heavy weight tapi sebagai manusia yang plg tak suka hospital, mmg tak la aku nak masuk hospital lagi kn. especially bila tiga kali warded dpt bedmate yg annoying.

so where to start, how to start? my bestie by the time i started had already lose 10 kg. was i inspired, a bit la. but i don't know why i didnt really push me to lose weight too. kesian dia penat bebel. oklah, since feb aritue ada cuti 1 month, so i decided to sign up for 1 month gym membership. thank god ada groupon wei. and i joined a program called jom kurus 1 malaysia under kevin zahri. tapi syg smpi sudah pn tak dapat jmpe kevin. haha. what i got from the program was beyond what i was expecting. i gain new friends which are now my family who shares the same dream and goal with me. betullah kalau kita nak kurus nie, kita kena ada support system yg kuat (note to along: support system nie maksud dia sokong yer bukan dok kutuk2 jer). and eventhough org ckp tips in losing weight is 80% nutrition and 20% physical activity, tp memandang kan aku nie jenis yg makan pn kadang2 ke laut, this program really teach me how to eat right, play right, work right. kalo tnya korg tau ke calories counting tue apa? msti ada yg tak tahu kan. so thanks to the program, i kinda manage to actually do something to lose weight. dan aku nie sebenarnya org yg sgt suka beraktiviti despite being gemuk, kalau tak takkan la masa gi krabi dulu aku beria nak gi treetop. it's kinda hard to do all those stuff you like when you're fat, so probably that's another why for me?

so here's list of things i wanna do when i reach a certain target:
80kg: wall climbing
75kg: absailing
70kg: panjat batu caves
60kg: ice skating

tak sabarnya. and i'm definitely going back to krabi to finish all the courses kt treetop tue. so far i've lost 10kg, agak2 before raya nie boleh lose lg 5 tak? so hujung tahun nak lost 20kg, mcm impossible tp let's give it a try la.

 nie la dua org manusia pendorong. the awesome teamleader. dua2 duduk pasir gudang tapi boleh kata hari2 dtg area jb melayan anak2 buah diorg beraktiviti.

 tau tak dia nie dulu 110kg, she managed to shed half off herself, gagah kan dia.

 and these are the awesome jk1m southern jb family, the support system. 

aku yang dulu bukanlah yang sekarang. haha 

my advice to those yang nak lose weight, start now, tak payah la nak tangguh2 and bagi byk alasan. hello been there. haha ouh, silalah selalu tgk diri kat cermin, jgn la bajet naa diri tue kurus lagi sebab muat lagi baju lama, takkan nak tunggu baju tertetas baru nk start kn.get yourself a scale please. tau tak i gained arond 20kg since i came back from australia. dan bajet gler berat tak naik psl x penah bother nak timbang kn. hah kau sekali timbang, menangis wei!! oklah dh penat membebel. adios, see you guys in the next post.

signing out with love, 

lalaqla