kenapa saya nak kurus

kenapa saya nak kurus? jawapan dia saya pun sebenarnya tak tahu. unlike other people who have their big WHY to lose weight, I actually still can't figure out my big WHY. bestie saya nak kurus lepas kena dump dgn boyfriend dia. ada kawan saya nak kurus psl nak cari boyfriend. I actually don't really know why i wanted to lose weight. mmg la tiap2 tahun azam nak kurus kn. tapi hampeh. but if i must say it probably starts early this year. bila my big brother yg mmg tugas dia adalah meng'condemn' adik dia nie bet dgn my cousin yang i won't lose weight this year. cis betul kan. tapi mmg sifat abg saya mcm tue. cara dia tunjuk dia caring nie pelik2 sikit. dia pnya ayat melawak mmg boleh buat mkn dalam wei, tp ktorg pnya family mmg gurau kasar pn. so jiwa mmg kena kental la.

i'm the girl who was always blessed with so much love, dari kecik mmg dibesarkan dgn air tangan umie. lagi2 masa masuk stf dlu, every week request jer nk mkn apa msti umie masakan. so mmg dari kecik seorang laila aqilah tue hobi dia makan, al makanya badan dia pn bertambah2 la gebuss. if you still don't know i'm the first grand daughter pak bakar, yang baya saya ada dua org lagi gadis ( sorg dh jadi mak budak dh) yg ayu2. since i grew up dgn my brother jer, al makanya saya nie sedikit buas dan lasak daripada gadis2 sebaya saya dulu. i had never owned any barbie doll ekh. permainan hari2 ada wrestling, main guli, main basikal. senang cerita masa kecik ikut bontot along jer la petang2. so i don't really care bout my appearance, haah la start ada rasa nak melawa pn masa kolej, tue pn ikt mood, kalo tak wa sarung jeans, t shirt dgn tudung selimpang jer. masyaAllah selekeh betul, tapi sekarang pn mcm tue gak, dtg malas dia seluar tidur tue pun blh jadi bwk keluar. eh mcm dh menyimpang jer cerita nie.

so dah abes throwback, jom balik ke tahun 2014. so probably la one of the reason nk kurus psl the stupid bet that along made. but i don't think that's strong enough. 2013 i tried taking herbalife, tp mmg tak jalan la, pasal apa? i didnt say herbalife didnt work, byk jer org kurus minum herbalife tp i'm not that type of person who follows routine. pagi2 bangun buat shake. mula2 ok la, lama2 mmg x fun la kn. so there goes the effort to lose weight in 2013. tapi around oct 2013 i was diagnosed with a minor tumour, dua kali lak gak kena operate nk buang which effect dia smpi sekrg wa tak blh nk angkat kening belah kanan. kalo amek gmbr nampak kelakar wei. hahaha. so probably from there i started to think, i need to take my health seriously, walaupun tumour tue x de kena mengena dgn me being heavy weight tapi sebagai manusia yang plg tak suka hospital, mmg tak la aku nak masuk hospital lagi kn. especially bila tiga kali warded dpt bedmate yg annoying.

so where to start, how to start? my bestie by the time i started had already lose 10 kg. was i inspired, a bit la. but i don't know why i didnt really push me to lose weight too. kesian dia penat bebel. oklah, since feb aritue ada cuti 1 month, so i decided to sign up for 1 month gym membership. thank god ada groupon wei. and i joined a program called jom kurus 1 malaysia under kevin zahri. tapi syg smpi sudah pn tak dapat jmpe kevin. haha. what i got from the program was beyond what i was expecting. i gain new friends which are now my family who shares the same dream and goal with me. betullah kalau kita nak kurus nie, kita kena ada support system yg kuat (note to along: support system nie maksud dia sokong yer bukan dok kutuk2 jer). and eventhough org ckp tips in losing weight is 80% nutrition and 20% physical activity, tp memandang kan aku nie jenis yg makan pn kadang2 ke laut, this program really teach me how to eat right, play right, work right. kalo tnya korg tau ke calories counting tue apa? msti ada yg tak tahu kan. so thanks to the program, i kinda manage to actually do something to lose weight. dan aku nie sebenarnya org yg sgt suka beraktiviti despite being gemuk, kalau tak takkan la masa gi krabi dulu aku beria nak gi treetop. it's kinda hard to do all those stuff you like when you're fat, so probably that's another why for me?

so here's list of things i wanna do when i reach a certain target:
80kg: wall climbing
75kg: absailing
70kg: panjat batu caves
60kg: ice skating

tak sabarnya. and i'm definitely going back to krabi to finish all the courses kt treetop tue. so far i've lost 10kg, agak2 before raya nie boleh lose lg 5 tak? so hujung tahun nak lost 20kg, mcm impossible tp let's give it a try la.

 nie la dua org manusia pendorong. the awesome teamleader. dua2 duduk pasir gudang tapi boleh kata hari2 dtg area jb melayan anak2 buah diorg beraktiviti.

 tau tak dia nie dulu 110kg, she managed to shed half off herself, gagah kan dia.

 and these are the awesome jk1m southern jb family, the support system. 

aku yang dulu bukanlah yang sekarang. haha 

my advice to those yang nak lose weight, start now, tak payah la nak tangguh2 and bagi byk alasan. hello been there. haha ouh, silalah selalu tgk diri kat cermin, jgn la bajet naa diri tue kurus lagi sebab muat lagi baju lama, takkan nak tunggu baju tertetas baru nk start kn.get yourself a scale please. tau tak i gained arond 20kg since i came back from australia. dan bajet gler berat tak naik psl x penah bother nak timbang kn. hah kau sekali timbang, menangis wei!! oklah dh penat membebel. adios, see you guys in the next post.

signing out with love, 

lalaqla

daddy's comment

so i posted a picture of me and my brother when we were little, guess what my dad commented on that picture. 

homaigod! i was speechless when i read his comment. terkejut mak nak, my own father is actually telling me to find a boyfriend. i guess he was just worried that i'm at the age where he got married and i'm still not seeing anyone or he's tired of taking care of me. haha. 

dear dad, it's not like you can force this things to happen. i mean come on, if that's possible i would be doing that already. ok now i sound desperate. who doesn't want to get married especially when most of your friends are pregnant, married, getting married, engaged or getting engaged while i'm still stuck in uni and most of my classmate are either younger than me or already married. when on earth am i supposed to find that someone? homai, now i'm whining. damn it. 

finding mr right is very hard nowadays especially because i have trust issues with man. most man i met are either jerks or too nice or gay. haha. so where should i meet this mr right. i guess he'll come when the time is right. so i'll just wait. clichenya lahai. but it's true kot. i just wanna be done with my degree and be a lawyer first and if he came in between i guess it's a bonus. so let's set my priority  out first and then find the one. 

signing out with love,

lalaqla

bon voyage my friend

bismillah, 

as of the moment i'm writing this, with a big sigh, i've made one of the hardest decision in my life. that is to gradually cut u off from my life. after much thinking and arguing with myself, i realised i'm tired of being treated like a crap. despite all 17 years of friendship, i'm merely an outsider to you. thus there's no point of honouring our friendship anymore. bon voyage my friend, if you dont understand why maybe the series of screen capture below would make you understand why i made my decision 

cerita sama diulang-ulang

mintak maaf kokping curi gambar ig.  bila nmpk gmbr nie rasa mcm blh relate sgt. hence the post. 

apa maksud cerita sama diulang-ulang. cerita dia begini, aku perasan ditiap kali aku keudarakan pendapat akan sesuatu pasti akan ada pihak yang menentang keras apa yang aku bicarakan. tak payah sentuhlah soal politik, soal agama, kadang-kadang soal bola pun nak dipersoalkan. alahai anda-anda semua, apa yang sy utarakan tue kan pendapat saya. seperti mana saya tak pernah mempersoalkan pegangan, prinsip mahu pun pendapat anda terhadap sesuatu perkara, susah sangatkah saya nak mintak hak saya untuk bersuara itu dihormati? kata freedom of speech kan, awk jugak yang memperjuangkan hak itu. so hormatilah kesaksamaan hak itu antara kita. seperti mana saya tak berapa gemar akan post2 awk tapi saya diamkan jer, tak boleh ke kalau tangan awk tue tak gatal tangan nk tekan butang komen tue jugak. di penghujungnya bila saya balas balik, awak yang terasa hati. habis tue salah saya jugak ke? so langkah bijak adalah sit back and relax while eating popcorn, dan biar awak terus-terusan misjudge saya. saya tak rugi apa2 pun. yang rugi awk tak pasal awk tak pernah amek peluang untuk betul2 kenal saya dan pegangan saya kan. saya terus bahagia dgn hidup saya, dan awk terus menerus misunderstood and misjudge saya. saya tak rugi, saya tak pening pun pikir apa pendapat awk tentang saya. bak kata fynn jamal, dalam hidup ini kalau kita asyik nak bagi penjelasan ditiap kali org salah faham dgn kita, nak makan pun tak sempat. so baik saya pilih makan kan, saya kenyang dan bahagia. 

signing out with love, 

lalaqla

first impression

aku pernah menulis pasal topik nie dlm blog lama. and i kinda just feel like writing it again. mengapakah? pasal lately nie selalu jumpa org-org baru dlm hidup. hai awak-awak semua, thanks for making 2014 a new and awesome experience for me. ok move on, these are some of the first impression that i got from people.

1. sombong
2. garang.
3. ganas.
4. kasar.
5. nampak mcm pendiam.
6. pilih kawan.

Ok sebenarnya banyak lagi, but these are the common first impression of people towards me. bila dengar alahai, saya bukan semua tue. ok la, mungkin no 3 dgn no 4 tue ada betul sket la. that one i can't deny. psl chek nie mmg ganas dan kasar kadang-kadang. tp sebenarnya x la all the time, ikt tempat dan keadaan jugak. so here's my explanation to why i'm not any of the above.

1. sebenarnya saya bukan sombong, tapi saya nie ada sedikit masalah awkward penguin in first meeting. kalau awak tak tegur saya mmg smpi sudah la saya x reti berckp dgn awk. probably because sometimes i have inferiority complex, kdg-kdg tue bila meet new people saya selalu rasa insecure dgn diri sy sndri. boleh ke aku blend in and stuff like that. so i chose not to talk. tapi bila awak dh kenal saya, saya tak sombong kan? unless u did something that breaks my heart la. mmg aku kalau jumpa kau, aku buat tak kenal la. haha.

2. ok lah, mungkin korang kata aku nampak garang psl aku tak senyum. tapi takkan la aku nak senyum and menyengih jer 24 jam. karang orang hantar aku gi tanjung rambutan plak, eh tak mau la. tanjung rambutan mcm jauh sgt, permai dh la. haha. ok lawak bodoh di situ. mesti la aku akn kurang senyum atau x senyum langsung pada kau, masa kita mula-mula jumpa atau terserempak. the answer is very simple, you don't know me and i don't know you. karang senyum lebih-lebih, kau ingat aku nak ngorat kau pulak. aduyai.yes i know senyum tue sedekah, tapi aku dh praktik kn dulu dah, senyum to strangers, end up diorg pandang aku pelik semcm. so bukan lah aku x senyum pada strangers lg, tp aku dh kurang kn. so if i don't smile to you. sila jgn amek hati. it's either, aku tak nak berada dlm keadaan awkward or aku x perasan korg. aku nie rabun yer. harap maklum.

3 & 4. boleh gabungkan kot, psl lebih kurang sama jer. ouh, iols bukan tomboy yer, despite being in a girl school for five years. just that in my family,i was the first granddaughter, jadi aku nie dari kecik berkawan dgn abg-abg. and korg paham la perangai budak laki mcm mne kan, lagi2 growing up, aku dgn abg aku yg jarak 2 tahun nie jer. tue la kawan tidur, tue la kawan gaduh, tue la kawan main. honestly i have never own any barbie doll yer. permainan aku time budak2 dulu adalah wrestling, ceper, guli, gasing, tamiya. batu seremban tue mmg smpi sudah aku tak reti main. haha. so it's kinda embedded in me la to be rough and tough. lagi satu, mcm aku ckp td aku ada inferiority complex, aku jenis takut kecewa, sedih dan sewaktu dgnnya, sbb tue la it's hard for me to let my guard down. so, mmg aku akn bersikapsedikit kasar la dgn org esp guys. harap maaf yer, esp yg cpt terasa dgn kata2 i yg tak reti nak censored nie. bukannya tak nak jadi damsel in distress yg menanti prince charming dtg selamatkn. hello, that's like every girls dream kot. tapi kalau prince charming tue end up bkn seperti yg kita harapkn, sudahnya kita yg kecewa kn. so baik jd tough and rough ala2 princess dlm tangled tue. kurg2, kalau kau kena tinggal nanti x de la kecewa, merana smpi x nk mkn minum semua. tapi kn sebenarnya, kalau korg kenal aku betul2, i can be a really sweet and manja person. tp tue la, x de la dgn smue org aku nk buat perangai manja menggedik2 aku tue kn. karang kena sumpah plak dgn org. haha.

5. sila rujuk jawapan no 1. malas la nak ulang cerita sama.

6. aduyai, kita nie dikatanya memilih kawan. tak la awk, kita kawan dgn semua org. tak percaya, kita kawan dgn mak2 org, dgn bapak org kurang sket la, mati kne cepuk dgn bini diorg nnt. kita kawan dgn kakak2 dan adik2 yg kadang2 jauh beza umur dr kita. dgn abg2 nie kurg sket. karang girlfriend dia kejar aku dgn parang, mati la nak. i have gay friends, i have lesbian friends, i have trans friends. kan saya dh ckp sy kwn dgn semua org. so jgn la segan2 nk kawan dgn saya. hehe. tapi ada la certain kawan yg saya dh tak kawan dh. kalau tanya kenapa? pasal these people sometimes they're too negative. and i cant tahan negative people, peh dia punya aura, boleh buat kau pun terikut-ikut negative. so kalau dh 2-3 kali ckp tak jalan gak. goodbye my friend. selagi kau bwk negativity kau, sila jgn masuk kn aku dlm plan hidup kau yer.

thus, sila la jgn malu-malu dan segan-segan nk berkawan dgn saya yer. kot-kot awk ternampak saya kt mana2 tegur jer, insyaallah i wont make funny and awkward faces. tapi tue la, selalunya first impression kita pada org mesti akn berubah bila kita dh kenal org tue. so kalau awk nk tau saya org yg mcm mne. jomlah kita berkawan.




signing out with love,
lalaqla

life is a blessing, why are you stressing out over tiny matters

perasan tak kita nie selalu sgt merungut, dan benda- benda yg kita rungutkan tue sebenarnya kalau difikirkan balik, alahai apalah sangat. 

as a student, I realised that kerja kita nie merungut jer. contohnya:

1. ala banyaknya assignment

2. byknya duit habis buat printing

3. bilalah duit biasiswa nak masuk

4. alahai class full satu hari

5. apalah lecturer nie, nk cancel class bagitau la awl2 

haha. betul tak? tipulah kalau korg x pernah ckp bnda2 nie, or at least terfikir psl bnda2 nie kn. 

sebenarnya kita tak perasan, benda yg kita "stress"kn tue bukannya apa sgt pn. kita jer yg tak reti bersyukur. whenever we have that thought cbe reflect balik, time2 yg kita merungut tue assignment byk la, class full la, duit byk hbis printing la dgn berapa byk masa kita buang berjimba. tgk wayangnya lain, tgk korean dramanya lain, kuar karok, main bowling bagai. time tue tak teringat pn kn psl nk belajar. bukannya fikir assignment melambak lagi. nk buat mcm mana, mmg itu sifat manusia kan. 

i'm saying this based on my own experience. balik bilik bknnya nk buat benda berfaedah, laptop tue dulu yang dikejar, facebook dulu yang dibukak. 

sebab tue la aku cakap kita nie x reti bersyukur dgn apa yg ada. kt luar sana ramai lagi yg tak mampu, tapi diorg bahagia jer. kenapa? because they are counting their blessings and not misfortune. rasa bersyukur dgn apa yg diorg ada tp tue x buat diorg berhenti berusaha ke arah yg lebih baik. kita nie yg lengkap serba serbi, asyik merungut tak cukup itu ini. 

So marilah bersyukur dgn apa yg ada. hidup nie adatlah kalau kau ditimpa masalah, kita bukan hidup dalam dunia fairytale yg semuanya indah. tapi dibalik tiap masalah tue, akan ada yg indah darinya. so why are you stressing out? there's always a silver lining behind everything kn. chill back, relax and enjoy the journey. percayalah di setiap kali kau focus pada benda2 yg baik, kau takkan teringat pn pada masalah kau yg ntah apa2 tue. 

sigining out with love, 

lalaqla

A New Beginning

I promised myself that 2014 is going to be awesome. Hence let's put away all the negativity and lead a beautiful positive life. So to do so, the new blog comes in handy especially when the old blog is full of craps that I wrote when I was immature and mad. If you guys are looking for the old blog, forget it, I've made the blog private to only myself. Well looking back at what I wrote on that blog, I'm predicting disaster in a few years to come especially when I enter working life. Thus the need to make it private is very much important.

Probably it's a little bit too late to put up a new year resolution especially when February is ending pretty much in a few days time but who cares right. It's my resolution, and who said that resolution can only be made during new year. So here goes the list of what I want to achieve in 2014:

1. Be a better Muslim.
2. Lose all the unnecessary weight
3. Be a better student especially when it comes to attendance.
4. Involve myself with more social work.
5. Stop being an awkward penguin and socialize with everyone without prejudice.
6. Improve time and money management.
7.Try not to keep my emotion and problem bottled up.
8. Be more understanding towards other people's need.
9. Ignore negativity.
10. Stop making enemy.

I realized that despite being a happy go lucky girl, I've also been throwing a lot of tantrums. Thus I shall stop all the nuisance and start to be more understanding. And yes, I'm a stubborn lil girl who sometimes think that I'm always right and that is one of the area that I really need to improve on. Be more understanding towards other people idea and what they have to say. So here's to a better me. Let's go!!

signing out with love, 

lalaqla