my stand!!

bismillahirrahmannirrahim,

this is a post where i contemplated to write for quite a bit. but after giving it much thought, i think this is an important post as it explains my stand. if reading this post makes you think i'm directing it to you. yes it does. because i'm someone who dares to point out the point straightly without having the need to hide behind double meaning. 

funny world we're living in today, where people would attack first before asking. lol, even the basic personal liberty of a person laid out one is innocent until proven guilty. yet, in today society, one is labelled guilty even before going into trial. sad isn't it. well this happens to me quite recently, whereby i was attacked for my personal blog post that talks about my family. i seriously don't get it, so i can no longer share about my "happy" family without offending others? i thought we were suppose to share our happiness instead of promoting hatred. so i have to think five to six times before posting about what i learned from my parents so that i don't offend others? i mean come on, this is my blog. i'm entitled to share my feelings without having to submit to others approval right. excuse me, but this is my freedom to speech, it's a privilege that everyone is entitled to under the federal constitution. 

i'm sorry if you understood my writing differently but i'm only responsible for what i wrote and not for what you understood. if you understood my writing the wrong way, that's entirely your problem. attacking me for my personal liberty, well sorry to say this but that's rude. especially when you were reading it with a different meaning than what i intended it for. fyi, i could so sue you for harrasment. 

unfortunately common sense is no longer common anymore, you know what should be the common thing to do when you read my post, first you should have asked me, why am i writing it and to whom it was intended. and for that post, i think a regular human being would read it as me appreciating my parents presence in my life. but unfortunately you did not do what a common humanbeing would do. second common thing to do, if you don't like what i wrote, then don't read it. there's always that unfollow, unfriend and block button made available for you. if you must know, i'm not a big fan of vulgar words which you've always throw in your status. instead of paying attention to them, i just scroll down and leave it like a gentleman. so why can't you just ignore whatever i wrote if you don't like it. why are you picking fight over small ridiculous thing? 

my parents always taught me to be the bigger man by walking away from a fight which is not worth of my time. after giving my explanation which i totally don't need to, but i do so out of respect and just to clear things up and yet you don't appreciate my explanation and kept on picking fight. i knew that it does not worth any of my time because no matter what i wrote, you'll end up sticking to your side of story which is i'm the one to be blame. so i'm walking away but if you were to ever attack me again, just a reminder, this time i would not walk away. fool me once, joke on you, fool me twice joke on me. and i will not let you do that to me. 

lastly, just a reminder, my life does not revolve around you, nor your life revolve around mine. i have no time to be thinking about your problems as i do have my own problems too. simply because i don't show my struggle doesn't mean i'm not struggling with life. just that i wanted to be a more mature adult that solve my own problem and hide my struggle so that i would not burden people around me. honestly, i couldn't care less about your problem especially after how you screw me over. and please if you ever want to attack me, don't attack me on social media especially with a broken english. you're just making a fool out of yourself. like you said, i'm always right, picking a fight with a law student is not gonna be pretty. ouh, please know that i can be a bitch if i want to and that one door of hell you don't want to open. i might look all nice and kind, but when you see the biatch in me, trust me you'll never see me the same way ever again.

signing out with lots of love,

lalaqla

family?

adalah seorang hamba Allah nie call mengadu nasib tentang masalah keluarganya yang tak pernah aman. salah satu ayatnya, "kau lain la, family kau perfect, tak macam ktorg." pembetulan, family aku tak perfect, percayalah tiada satu pun family dalam dunia nie yang perfect. our family might seems perfect on the outside but the secret is we don't share our problems even with our extended family. we choose to sit down and talk out our problem most of the time. eventhough sometimes the problem is not resolved immediately but we get it solved by hook or by crook. i know it because i'm the problematic one in the family (middle child sindrom katanya) hehe. seriously, i'm one very thick headed girl who wants everything to be in  her way. in fact sometimes when i'm mad, sad, annoyed or frustrated, i would just silent or off my phone so that nobody can reach me. which most of the time causes worries to my parents most of the time. you could ask some of my bestfriends, my brother would go to the extend of contacting them if i'm out of reach. hehe. sorry mama ayah. i'm really glad that with all the tantrums i've throwed over the past 24 years, they're always forgiving and understand my mischieviousness. nasiblah mak bapak aku sanggup nak tahan perangai keras kepala tak nak dengar cakap aku kan. there's one thing that i've learned from my parents parenting style which is trust. my dad said this once to me, "ayah tau awak dah besar, dah boleh fikir baik buruk, so i trust you can make a wise decision for your life." heee. yes, my parents let me decide how i want to live my life. but with that being said, when such trust is put on you, whenever i feel like doing a bad thing, i'll always remember what my dad told me. he had put such trust on me, and i shall not betray that. so yeah, i'm a bit naughty but never over the limit.

another thing i've learned is that never spill your problem to outsider, especially on social media. because honestly, people who hear you out are either sincerely trying to help you, or would use that point to destroy you. so never give them the opportunity to destroy you. talking is good, but only talk to the people that you really trust and you believe would never spread or bad mouth about it to others. if you have a problem with a particular person, for god sake talk to that person. stop abusing the social media by bashing each other. internet is one dangerous world, once you post something it'll forever be there. and you know what's the funny thing, you guys are bashing each other on social media yet you guys are blocking each other. penyudahnya yang jadi penonton drama korg nie, akan bercerita pada org lain dgn versi yang ditokok tambah. maka bertambah lagi la salah faham dan masalah korg. so please people if you have problem, sit down and talk to each other. at least that's how our family do it, walaupun sometimes it takes awhile because sometimes we need a cooling period. yelah hati semua tengah panas, instead of hurting each other with words, better take some time to cool down before talking it out. we can never undo words after it being spoken, there's no delete button when it comes to blurting out words.

i really love the song by fynn jamal titled biar. it just hit me like dush dush dush. especially this part,

wahai ayahanda lihatlah 

aku melompat tinggi 

kerna disetiapnya kau tak pernah pergi

apa masih ingat lagi

aku suka lari lari

kau bagaikan tak peduli

ku biar kau patah hati

apa masih tidak lupa

tengking jerit sama2

makan tak mahu semeja

sahabat lebih berharga

i do have to admit, in fact most of us at our age tends to appreciate our friends presence way more than we appreciate our parents presence. which is a no no la. i know i've broke my parents hearts countless of time with my attitude but i sure am glad that di setiap jatuh dan bangunnya aku mereka sentiasa ada dibelakang utk membetulkan langkah aku. for that i'm very thankful. so i'm proud when people say that we have a perfect family, it may not be the perfect ideal family but they're my perfect imperfection. you dont get to choose who your family are, so make the best out of it. with all the problem we overcome, it makes the bond stronger, so don't sigh at problem, always remember that there's always a silver lining behind it all.

so to the kids, no matter how hurt you are, always remember how hard it was for them to raise you up. without them you'll never be where you are right now. if you're hurt, imagine how they felt. wouldn't they hurt too.

to the parents, please take some time to listen to your kids. dont just take them as a child. we do have our opinions and we want to be heard. 

ruginya la kita menghabiskan masa dengan perasaan benci dan marah pada satu sama lain bilamana ia sepatutnya digunakan utk kebersamaan. asas sesebuah ketamadunan dan masyarakat adalah keluarga, it's what the moral and lesson yang diterapkan dalam keluarga yang kita bawa ke dalam masyarakat. so for a better civilisation, let us strengthen our family bond and moral. 

last but not least, spread love not hatred.

signing out with love,

lalaqla

anti social

it's been awhile since i posted something. probably because there's not much to share anyway. life's getting boring and dull. i'm either to tired to have fun and be adventurous or usually i ended up enjoying something alone that later on i kinda felt sad because i didn't have anyone to share it with. i kinda have a feeling that i'm getting more anti social by days, honestly i don't think i've been making any effort in catching up with my friends. it's not that i don't want to but i guess sometimes i'm a bit afraid of rejection. not as in rejected like "no i dont want to be friend or hang out with you", more to like everyone would usually have things planned when i'm free or sometimes they dont even include me in there plan. woah, i'm not saying this because i'm offended but i totally understand that sometimes when you dont keep in touch with people on a daily or regular basis, people would tend to think that you're busy or you have something to attend to, that's why they didnt included you in their plan. so yeah, a bit of insecurity issue going on there especially when you see those people posting picture or updating their plan. but all is well because i, myself didnt even care to make any effort to be in touch. truth be told, i'm kinda tired of chasing people. i realised that whenever i chase people, i would usually end up being neglected or people dont take me seriously. can you understand why the insecurity kicks in? haha. all my life i've always been the one yg "terhegeh2" in friendship. probably people find that annoying, even i finds it annoying to sometimes, so this year in particular i decided not to be that "terhegeh2" girl anymore. i decided to be more independent which somehow turns me into a more anti soc girl. haha funny aint it. so nowadays whenever i felt like doing something, and feeling like i want some company, i would ask people if thay wanna tag along but if they said no or they're busy and yada yada. instead of cancelling the plan, i always end up doing what i wanted to do alone, be it watching movie or theatre, trying out new places and other activities. i realised that it's more fun and enjoyable to have company but the fun should not stop even if you don't have any company. omg, now i'm sounding like a forever alone girl, which kinda suits me right now. being anti soc is sometimes sad and depressing but i've realised that u cant always seek people to follow my desire especially when everyone now has their own commitment. so what this anti soc have in store for future, probably a solo trip somewhere. hehe. but i kinda have the feeling that it would be hard to get approval from my parents to travel alone especially being a girl and blah blah blah. probably i should try and plan a solo trip somewhere in malaysia before planning a solo trip abroad, probably after a few solo trip in malaysia, my parents would be less reluctant to let me go abroad alone. finger crossed. hehe. 

i used to dream of travelling around the world with my mr. right. but probably there's gonna be few ammendment before i could achieved that. somehow i'm not convinced that i would end up getting married anytime soon nor later. i mean, come on if you were to think about it, i havent finish my degree, and my mama said to finish my study first before getting married. by the time i finished studying, it's gonna be awhile to find the right one. then time flies, and there goes my youth. see, why i'm not convinced bout me getting married. i might end up like the story old lady with 19 cats (is it?) except that instead of cat, because i kinda have a lil fear ( not fear la but geli) with kucing, i might end up with 19 different gaming stuff. hahaha. 

ok this anti soc kinda dh merepek sgt, and it's almost 4am, i better sign out and get some sleep. adiossss

signing out with love,

lalaqla

3.59am 

12:9:2014

being friendzoned?

you know when it's about exam period, i'll always end up thinking about weird weird stuff. for this exam period plak, i ended up thinking bout how i always end up in the friendzone situation.

i've always been the plain girl. daripada sekolah lagi aku selalu jadi the 'hot' girl sidekick. haha. nak buat mcm mana kawan2 aku semua lawa -lawa wei. lagi-lagi aku nie gemuk. memang cerita dia orang tak pandang la aku kan. mungkin sebab tue la aku selalu kena friendzone coz people would be more interested to get to know my friends than me. kadang-kadang aku yang jadi messenger diorg. peh, kalau time tue aku tgh syok kt si A nie pastu kena jadi messenger dia, pedih wei. tapi kan aku kawan yang taat, redha jer la tgk org yang aku suka usha kawan aku kn. hahaha.

dan oleh kerana aku nak clear kn otak aku pasal benda-benda mcm nie, aku pun tanya la a few of my bestfriend (lelaki) psl kenapa aku selalu kena friendzone. aku tanya lelaki psl yelah, we are dealing with guys opinion on me kn. dan sebenarnya kalau kau tanya kawan perempuan kau, they'll tend to be more bias towards you. so mmg kau takkan dapat la jawapan yang kau nak.

this are the responses that i got 3 different guy.

1. he went on and on about how i haven't find the right one. about the love you deserve, basically all the self-discovery journey thingy la. which obvious doesn't really answer my question but what he said was actually true. i don't need to put myself don't for something i don't think deserving. so until then i should just enjoy my life and get to know myself, love myself better before actually trying to love someone else.

2. he said i'm just not his type. cis. macamlah i'm talking bout being friendzoned by him. but what i liked from his answer is that the most easily swayed of the human part is our hearts. sbb tue tuhan surah jaga hati kita baik2, we might be friend today but tomorrow we might fall in love, siapa tahu. wow, terkedu kejap with his answer. i guess he's right. because love is actually a mysterious thing. lagi pun jodoh pertemuan tue semua rahsia Allah. cuma masa jer yang belum pasti kan.

3. yang nie jawapan x habis lagi, pasal x sempat nak abeskn conversation. dia cakap aku nie baik sgt, sampai org selalu take advantage and take me for granted. haha, baik memanglah baik tapi as everyone know aku nie jenis yang pendam mcm volcano, u tick the wrong button, and i'll explode. so beware la ya. hehehe


it's interesting to actually take some time and talk to the opposite side. sebab the way they perceived something is different from how we view it. haha, damn you exam stress, pelik2 jer benda yang aku end up serabut bila exam nie. bukannya stress psl study. aduyai...


signing out with love,

lalaqla

falling for the bestfriend

ok before continue reading this post, sila jgn ada apa2 thought of me falling for anyone at the moment or i'm in a relationship. ok? this is just a post which i got inspired by one of my friend status on facebook. so here goes:

falling for the bestfriend (this only refer to different gender bestie relationship). hurm, ada org ckp lelaki dgn perempuan x blh jd bestfriend sbb someone will definitely ruin the relationship by falling for  the other one. to me falling for the bestfriend is normal, more like a phase in the friendship. cuma bezanya how we deal with that feeling which will decide what the outcome will be. there's few outcome that i've experience la. yes i'm talking from experience, karang org ckp, "ala you wont understand, you've never been there". haha, aku rasa aku manusia yg plg selalu kne friendzone kot. tue yg jd loner skrg kot. hahahaha. so here's some of the situation i've been through ( silalah baca embarassing cerita aku) (remind me again why i'm embarassing myself).

1. so you fall for your bestfriend tp kau tak berani nk bgtau dia psl kau x nk ruin the relationship. kau pun telan perasaan kau sorg2, 2 years later bila korg dh in two different places far from each other, penyudahnya kau come clean psl feeling kau dulu (dulu: means kau dh x de feeling lg yer). tadaaaa: rupa2nya dia pun pernah ada feeling dkt kau, guess what you guys had just missed the 'moment'. sudahnya korg pun sama2 gelak psl dua2 bodoh tak mau confess dulu. since dua2 dh x de feeling for each other, korg pn still end up jd bestie. no hard feeling and hidden feeling since korg dh come clean. al makanya friendship korg makin best. 

2. so you fall for the bestie again tapi kali nie bestie kau tgh in a relationship dgn another friend of yours. since kau x nk ruin the relationship and hilang friendship, kau pun diam2 telan perasaan kau tgk diorg bersweet2. chill, lama2 bila kau tgk diorg kau akn slowly concede feeling kau psl kau akn rasa happy with their relationship mcm pepatah if you love somebody, you'll be happy to see them happy. 

3. ok kali nie kau fall pada bestie yg bru lps broke up, tgh fragile. kau nie pun beria la jd pendengar paling setia dgn harapan yg he could see i'm right here. sgt drama2 tv wei, cuma dlm drama selalu happy ending la. in this case blh gak jd happy ending psl maybe you are the one he's been looking for. tp jgn la berharap sgt psl hidup nie it's not always about happy ending. tp entah2 hujung2 kau end up jd rebounce dia or dia end up cri perempuan lain or end up dia balik dgn ex dia. sudah dia kau makan hati blk. 

4. kau fall for bestie kau psl pe? psl dia gentleman habis even with his friends. sygnya kau mistook that and kau pun fall for him. tp kau tak berani nk confess, you see him get in to a relationship, got out of relationship, listen to his stories masa in relationship, bila dia break up. tp kau telan jer feeling kau psl kau sgt friendship korg, yg kau mcm agk sure kalo ko confess msti korg akn stop talking. al makanya telan la perasaan tue smpi mati wei.

5. kau confess, things get awkward. you guys stop talking to each other. x pe wei in future, korg akn sit down time reunion or gathering, confirm korg akn gelak kn that moment. 

so, to confess or not? sebenarnya ikt kau, kalo ko berani nk take the risk, go ahead. there's always two outcome, the happy one and the other one. it's not wrong to chase your own happiness tp be prepared la with the worse outcome ever psl x semua yg kau plan and kau nak akn dpt kn. at the end of the day, it will either make the friendship stronger or you'll end up with more life experiences. so chill, take a deep breath and decide what you wanna do with your feeling.

p/s: aku pun sebenarnya msih hidup dlm fantasi bestfriend to lover jugak. byk sgt tgk drama aku nie. hahaha.



singning out with love,


lalaqla

kenapa saya nak kurus

kenapa saya nak kurus? jawapan dia saya pun sebenarnya tak tahu. unlike other people who have their big WHY to lose weight, I actually still can't figure out my big WHY. bestie saya nak kurus lepas kena dump dgn boyfriend dia. ada kawan saya nak kurus psl nak cari boyfriend. I actually don't really know why i wanted to lose weight. mmg la tiap2 tahun azam nak kurus kn. tapi hampeh. but if i must say it probably starts early this year. bila my big brother yg mmg tugas dia adalah meng'condemn' adik dia nie bet dgn my cousin yang i won't lose weight this year. cis betul kan. tapi mmg sifat abg saya mcm tue. cara dia tunjuk dia caring nie pelik2 sikit. dia pnya ayat melawak mmg boleh buat mkn dalam wei, tp ktorg pnya family mmg gurau kasar pn. so jiwa mmg kena kental la.

i'm the girl who was always blessed with so much love, dari kecik mmg dibesarkan dgn air tangan umie. lagi2 masa masuk stf dlu, every week request jer nk mkn apa msti umie masakan. so mmg dari kecik seorang laila aqilah tue hobi dia makan, al makanya badan dia pn bertambah2 la gebuss. if you still don't know i'm the first grand daughter pak bakar, yang baya saya ada dua org lagi gadis ( sorg dh jadi mak budak dh) yg ayu2. since i grew up dgn my brother jer, al makanya saya nie sedikit buas dan lasak daripada gadis2 sebaya saya dulu. i had never owned any barbie doll ekh. permainan hari2 ada wrestling, main guli, main basikal. senang cerita masa kecik ikut bontot along jer la petang2. so i don't really care bout my appearance, haah la start ada rasa nak melawa pn masa kolej, tue pn ikt mood, kalo tak wa sarung jeans, t shirt dgn tudung selimpang jer. masyaAllah selekeh betul, tapi sekarang pn mcm tue gak, dtg malas dia seluar tidur tue pun blh jadi bwk keluar. eh mcm dh menyimpang jer cerita nie.

so dah abes throwback, jom balik ke tahun 2014. so probably la one of the reason nk kurus psl the stupid bet that along made. but i don't think that's strong enough. 2013 i tried taking herbalife, tp mmg tak jalan la, pasal apa? i didnt say herbalife didnt work, byk jer org kurus minum herbalife tp i'm not that type of person who follows routine. pagi2 bangun buat shake. mula2 ok la, lama2 mmg x fun la kn. so there goes the effort to lose weight in 2013. tapi around oct 2013 i was diagnosed with a minor tumour, dua kali lak gak kena operate nk buang which effect dia smpi sekrg wa tak blh nk angkat kening belah kanan. kalo amek gmbr nampak kelakar wei. hahaha. so probably from there i started to think, i need to take my health seriously, walaupun tumour tue x de kena mengena dgn me being heavy weight tapi sebagai manusia yang plg tak suka hospital, mmg tak la aku nak masuk hospital lagi kn. especially bila tiga kali warded dpt bedmate yg annoying.

so where to start, how to start? my bestie by the time i started had already lose 10 kg. was i inspired, a bit la. but i don't know why i didnt really push me to lose weight too. kesian dia penat bebel. oklah, since feb aritue ada cuti 1 month, so i decided to sign up for 1 month gym membership. thank god ada groupon wei. and i joined a program called jom kurus 1 malaysia under kevin zahri. tapi syg smpi sudah pn tak dapat jmpe kevin. haha. what i got from the program was beyond what i was expecting. i gain new friends which are now my family who shares the same dream and goal with me. betullah kalau kita nak kurus nie, kita kena ada support system yg kuat (note to along: support system nie maksud dia sokong yer bukan dok kutuk2 jer). and eventhough org ckp tips in losing weight is 80% nutrition and 20% physical activity, tp memandang kan aku nie jenis yg makan pn kadang2 ke laut, this program really teach me how to eat right, play right, work right. kalo tnya korg tau ke calories counting tue apa? msti ada yg tak tahu kan. so thanks to the program, i kinda manage to actually do something to lose weight. dan aku nie sebenarnya org yg sgt suka beraktiviti despite being gemuk, kalau tak takkan la masa gi krabi dulu aku beria nak gi treetop. it's kinda hard to do all those stuff you like when you're fat, so probably that's another why for me?

so here's list of things i wanna do when i reach a certain target:
80kg: wall climbing
75kg: absailing
70kg: panjat batu caves
60kg: ice skating

tak sabarnya. and i'm definitely going back to krabi to finish all the courses kt treetop tue. so far i've lost 10kg, agak2 before raya nie boleh lose lg 5 tak? so hujung tahun nak lost 20kg, mcm impossible tp let's give it a try la.

 nie la dua org manusia pendorong. the awesome teamleader. dua2 duduk pasir gudang tapi boleh kata hari2 dtg area jb melayan anak2 buah diorg beraktiviti.

 tau tak dia nie dulu 110kg, she managed to shed half off herself, gagah kan dia.

 and these are the awesome jk1m southern jb family, the support system. 

aku yang dulu bukanlah yang sekarang. haha 

my advice to those yang nak lose weight, start now, tak payah la nak tangguh2 and bagi byk alasan. hello been there. haha ouh, silalah selalu tgk diri kat cermin, jgn la bajet naa diri tue kurus lagi sebab muat lagi baju lama, takkan nak tunggu baju tertetas baru nk start kn.get yourself a scale please. tau tak i gained arond 20kg since i came back from australia. dan bajet gler berat tak naik psl x penah bother nak timbang kn. hah kau sekali timbang, menangis wei!! oklah dh penat membebel. adios, see you guys in the next post.

signing out with love, 

lalaqla

daddy's comment

so i posted a picture of me and my brother when we were little, guess what my dad commented on that picture. 

homaigod! i was speechless when i read his comment. terkejut mak nak, my own father is actually telling me to find a boyfriend. i guess he was just worried that i'm at the age where he got married and i'm still not seeing anyone or he's tired of taking care of me. haha. 

dear dad, it's not like you can force this things to happen. i mean come on, if that's possible i would be doing that already. ok now i sound desperate. who doesn't want to get married especially when most of your friends are pregnant, married, getting married, engaged or getting engaged while i'm still stuck in uni and most of my classmate are either younger than me or already married. when on earth am i supposed to find that someone? homai, now i'm whining. damn it. 

finding mr right is very hard nowadays especially because i have trust issues with man. most man i met are either jerks or too nice or gay. haha. so where should i meet this mr right. i guess he'll come when the time is right. so i'll just wait. clichenya lahai. but it's true kot. i just wanna be done with my degree and be a lawyer first and if he came in between i guess it's a bonus. so let's set my priority  out first and then find the one. 

signing out with love,

lalaqla

bon voyage my friend

bismillah, 

as of the moment i'm writing this, with a big sigh, i've made one of the hardest decision in my life. that is to gradually cut u off from my life. after much thinking and arguing with myself, i realised i'm tired of being treated like a crap. despite all 17 years of friendship, i'm merely an outsider to you. thus there's no point of honouring our friendship anymore. bon voyage my friend, if you dont understand why maybe the series of screen capture below would make you understand why i made my decision 

cerita sama diulang-ulang

mintak maaf kokping curi gambar ig.  bila nmpk gmbr nie rasa mcm blh relate sgt. hence the post. 

apa maksud cerita sama diulang-ulang. cerita dia begini, aku perasan ditiap kali aku keudarakan pendapat akan sesuatu pasti akan ada pihak yang menentang keras apa yang aku bicarakan. tak payah sentuhlah soal politik, soal agama, kadang-kadang soal bola pun nak dipersoalkan. alahai anda-anda semua, apa yang sy utarakan tue kan pendapat saya. seperti mana saya tak pernah mempersoalkan pegangan, prinsip mahu pun pendapat anda terhadap sesuatu perkara, susah sangatkah saya nak mintak hak saya untuk bersuara itu dihormati? kata freedom of speech kan, awk jugak yang memperjuangkan hak itu. so hormatilah kesaksamaan hak itu antara kita. seperti mana saya tak berapa gemar akan post2 awk tapi saya diamkan jer, tak boleh ke kalau tangan awk tue tak gatal tangan nk tekan butang komen tue jugak. di penghujungnya bila saya balas balik, awak yang terasa hati. habis tue salah saya jugak ke? so langkah bijak adalah sit back and relax while eating popcorn, dan biar awak terus-terusan misjudge saya. saya tak rugi apa2 pun. yang rugi awk tak pasal awk tak pernah amek peluang untuk betul2 kenal saya dan pegangan saya kan. saya terus bahagia dgn hidup saya, dan awk terus menerus misunderstood and misjudge saya. saya tak rugi, saya tak pening pun pikir apa pendapat awk tentang saya. bak kata fynn jamal, dalam hidup ini kalau kita asyik nak bagi penjelasan ditiap kali org salah faham dgn kita, nak makan pun tak sempat. so baik saya pilih makan kan, saya kenyang dan bahagia. 

signing out with love, 

lalaqla

first impression

aku pernah menulis pasal topik nie dlm blog lama. and i kinda just feel like writing it again. mengapakah? pasal lately nie selalu jumpa org-org baru dlm hidup. hai awak-awak semua, thanks for making 2014 a new and awesome experience for me. ok move on, these are some of the first impression that i got from people.

1. sombong
2. garang.
3. ganas.
4. kasar.
5. nampak mcm pendiam.
6. pilih kawan.

Ok sebenarnya banyak lagi, but these are the common first impression of people towards me. bila dengar alahai, saya bukan semua tue. ok la, mungkin no 3 dgn no 4 tue ada betul sket la. that one i can't deny. psl chek nie mmg ganas dan kasar kadang-kadang. tp sebenarnya x la all the time, ikt tempat dan keadaan jugak. so here's my explanation to why i'm not any of the above.

1. sebenarnya saya bukan sombong, tapi saya nie ada sedikit masalah awkward penguin in first meeting. kalau awak tak tegur saya mmg smpi sudah la saya x reti berckp dgn awk. probably because sometimes i have inferiority complex, kdg-kdg tue bila meet new people saya selalu rasa insecure dgn diri sy sndri. boleh ke aku blend in and stuff like that. so i chose not to talk. tapi bila awak dh kenal saya, saya tak sombong kan? unless u did something that breaks my heart la. mmg aku kalau jumpa kau, aku buat tak kenal la. haha.

2. ok lah, mungkin korang kata aku nampak garang psl aku tak senyum. tapi takkan la aku nak senyum and menyengih jer 24 jam. karang orang hantar aku gi tanjung rambutan plak, eh tak mau la. tanjung rambutan mcm jauh sgt, permai dh la. haha. ok lawak bodoh di situ. mesti la aku akn kurang senyum atau x senyum langsung pada kau, masa kita mula-mula jumpa atau terserempak. the answer is very simple, you don't know me and i don't know you. karang senyum lebih-lebih, kau ingat aku nak ngorat kau pulak. aduyai.yes i know senyum tue sedekah, tapi aku dh praktik kn dulu dah, senyum to strangers, end up diorg pandang aku pelik semcm. so bukan lah aku x senyum pada strangers lg, tp aku dh kurang kn. so if i don't smile to you. sila jgn amek hati. it's either, aku tak nak berada dlm keadaan awkward or aku x perasan korg. aku nie rabun yer. harap maklum.

3 & 4. boleh gabungkan kot, psl lebih kurang sama jer. ouh, iols bukan tomboy yer, despite being in a girl school for five years. just that in my family,i was the first granddaughter, jadi aku nie dari kecik berkawan dgn abg-abg. and korg paham la perangai budak laki mcm mne kan, lagi2 growing up, aku dgn abg aku yg jarak 2 tahun nie jer. tue la kawan tidur, tue la kawan gaduh, tue la kawan main. honestly i have never own any barbie doll yer. permainan aku time budak2 dulu adalah wrestling, ceper, guli, gasing, tamiya. batu seremban tue mmg smpi sudah aku tak reti main. haha. so it's kinda embedded in me la to be rough and tough. lagi satu, mcm aku ckp td aku ada inferiority complex, aku jenis takut kecewa, sedih dan sewaktu dgnnya, sbb tue la it's hard for me to let my guard down. so, mmg aku akn bersikapsedikit kasar la dgn org esp guys. harap maaf yer, esp yg cpt terasa dgn kata2 i yg tak reti nak censored nie. bukannya tak nak jadi damsel in distress yg menanti prince charming dtg selamatkn. hello, that's like every girls dream kot. tapi kalau prince charming tue end up bkn seperti yg kita harapkn, sudahnya kita yg kecewa kn. so baik jd tough and rough ala2 princess dlm tangled tue. kurg2, kalau kau kena tinggal nanti x de la kecewa, merana smpi x nk mkn minum semua. tapi kn sebenarnya, kalau korg kenal aku betul2, i can be a really sweet and manja person. tp tue la, x de la dgn smue org aku nk buat perangai manja menggedik2 aku tue kn. karang kena sumpah plak dgn org. haha.

5. sila rujuk jawapan no 1. malas la nak ulang cerita sama.

6. aduyai, kita nie dikatanya memilih kawan. tak la awk, kita kawan dgn semua org. tak percaya, kita kawan dgn mak2 org, dgn bapak org kurang sket la, mati kne cepuk dgn bini diorg nnt. kita kawan dgn kakak2 dan adik2 yg kadang2 jauh beza umur dr kita. dgn abg2 nie kurg sket. karang girlfriend dia kejar aku dgn parang, mati la nak. i have gay friends, i have lesbian friends, i have trans friends. kan saya dh ckp sy kwn dgn semua org. so jgn la segan2 nk kawan dgn saya. hehe. tapi ada la certain kawan yg saya dh tak kawan dh. kalau tanya kenapa? pasal these people sometimes they're too negative. and i cant tahan negative people, peh dia punya aura, boleh buat kau pun terikut-ikut negative. so kalau dh 2-3 kali ckp tak jalan gak. goodbye my friend. selagi kau bwk negativity kau, sila jgn masuk kn aku dlm plan hidup kau yer.

thus, sila la jgn malu-malu dan segan-segan nk berkawan dgn saya yer. kot-kot awk ternampak saya kt mana2 tegur jer, insyaallah i wont make funny and awkward faces. tapi tue la, selalunya first impression kita pada org mesti akn berubah bila kita dh kenal org tue. so kalau awk nk tau saya org yg mcm mne. jomlah kita berkawan.




signing out with love,
lalaqla

life is a blessing, why are you stressing out over tiny matters

perasan tak kita nie selalu sgt merungut, dan benda- benda yg kita rungutkan tue sebenarnya kalau difikirkan balik, alahai apalah sangat. 

as a student, I realised that kerja kita nie merungut jer. contohnya:

1. ala banyaknya assignment

2. byknya duit habis buat printing

3. bilalah duit biasiswa nak masuk

4. alahai class full satu hari

5. apalah lecturer nie, nk cancel class bagitau la awl2 

haha. betul tak? tipulah kalau korg x pernah ckp bnda2 nie, or at least terfikir psl bnda2 nie kn. 

sebenarnya kita tak perasan, benda yg kita "stress"kn tue bukannya apa sgt pn. kita jer yg tak reti bersyukur. whenever we have that thought cbe reflect balik, time2 yg kita merungut tue assignment byk la, class full la, duit byk hbis printing la dgn berapa byk masa kita buang berjimba. tgk wayangnya lain, tgk korean dramanya lain, kuar karok, main bowling bagai. time tue tak teringat pn kn psl nk belajar. bukannya fikir assignment melambak lagi. nk buat mcm mana, mmg itu sifat manusia kan. 

i'm saying this based on my own experience. balik bilik bknnya nk buat benda berfaedah, laptop tue dulu yang dikejar, facebook dulu yang dibukak. 

sebab tue la aku cakap kita nie x reti bersyukur dgn apa yg ada. kt luar sana ramai lagi yg tak mampu, tapi diorg bahagia jer. kenapa? because they are counting their blessings and not misfortune. rasa bersyukur dgn apa yg diorg ada tp tue x buat diorg berhenti berusaha ke arah yg lebih baik. kita nie yg lengkap serba serbi, asyik merungut tak cukup itu ini. 

So marilah bersyukur dgn apa yg ada. hidup nie adatlah kalau kau ditimpa masalah, kita bukan hidup dalam dunia fairytale yg semuanya indah. tapi dibalik tiap masalah tue, akan ada yg indah darinya. so why are you stressing out? there's always a silver lining behind everything kn. chill back, relax and enjoy the journey. percayalah di setiap kali kau focus pada benda2 yg baik, kau takkan teringat pn pada masalah kau yg ntah apa2 tue. 

sigining out with love, 

lalaqla

A New Beginning

I promised myself that 2014 is going to be awesome. Hence let's put away all the negativity and lead a beautiful positive life. So to do so, the new blog comes in handy especially when the old blog is full of craps that I wrote when I was immature and mad. If you guys are looking for the old blog, forget it, I've made the blog private to only myself. Well looking back at what I wrote on that blog, I'm predicting disaster in a few years to come especially when I enter working life. Thus the need to make it private is very much important.

Probably it's a little bit too late to put up a new year resolution especially when February is ending pretty much in a few days time but who cares right. It's my resolution, and who said that resolution can only be made during new year. So here goes the list of what I want to achieve in 2014:

1. Be a better Muslim.
2. Lose all the unnecessary weight
3. Be a better student especially when it comes to attendance.
4. Involve myself with more social work.
5. Stop being an awkward penguin and socialize with everyone without prejudice.
6. Improve time and money management.
7.Try not to keep my emotion and problem bottled up.
8. Be more understanding towards other people's need.
9. Ignore negativity.
10. Stop making enemy.

I realized that despite being a happy go lucky girl, I've also been throwing a lot of tantrums. Thus I shall stop all the nuisance and start to be more understanding. And yes, I'm a stubborn lil girl who sometimes think that I'm always right and that is one of the area that I really need to improve on. Be more understanding towards other people idea and what they have to say. So here's to a better me. Let's go!!

signing out with love, 

lalaqla